The best vacation – has nothing to do with the trip

June 9th, 2018. A trip to span the next 7 days is the trip of my marriage (thus far) that will e forever the best trip we have ever taken. We’ve been to Hawaii, on cruises, road trips, track trips with our daughter. Been places and seen things. This trip however was the best most fantastic trip of our lives.

After 20 years of marriage and several marital indiscretions we are certainly wiser than most. We have come to realize that everything that could or should be deal breakers are not but the work that goes into making sure you stay together outside of that is the hardest damn work that you will ever put in..

That being said. We went to Cancun, Mexico for the first time. It was amazing. We stayed in the Dream Sands resort. All inclusive food and drinks. Sun and sand. Warm weather and seashells. Our story is not one of butterflies and rainbows. Well there were a few but they were sharing the space with dragons and hellfire. We been through some shit and I don’t say that without the full impact of knowing what being through shit looks, feels and smells like. It’s ugly, it hurts and boy does it stink, actually it stank.

So we had been looking forward to this trip for several reasons.

2017 was a trying year as my husband, almost died. MRSA had him down in Feb 2017 that shook up our lives into April (still residual affects). Then spring 2017 just about this time, he got sick again with an infection that was not so friendly. To boot, our family reunion that we had worked so hard for over a year, well we spent it in the hospital watching Facebook videos and pictures. That was pretty crushing. So needless to say we were due for some rest and relaxation based on that alone. 2018 starts with a scare a year to the date of the 2017 incident he passes out at a work function. OMG this can’t be happening AGAIN. It was a small incident to do with medicine and bad timing but nonetheless it takes you right back to the scary place. Spring brings different stress due to a co-worker being out for 6 weeks and all the work fell on me. That was enough to take me to the brink. I refuse to let a job make me cry but I swear to GAWD…there were times that I was ready to flip some shit over. I’m not crazy enough to walk off the job, it wasn’t quite that serious but it was stressful for sure.

So here we are packed and ready to GO. June 9th it was on. We had 7 days and nights to just SIT. That we did. We only did one excursion which was a sunset cruise on his 60th birthday June 13th. We did his and her’s massages which was amazing as well. We took the time to just talk. Well, mostly me I guess as I found out that my spouse hates when I ask him questions. That is the only way to find out what you need to know I told him and I will not stop asking questions if I want or need to know things. Questions like how can I be a better wife, or what one thing would you like to have me do better? Simple shit as far as I’m concerned but that’s another blog, I digress.

We talked and listened and then said nothing. It was important just to be present in the moment and enjoy our time doing the things we don’t get to do at home which is just be together in an atmosphere of not being responsible for anything or anyone but each other. That my friends was nice. That is what the epitome of a vacation should be. Being!!! Not necessarily ripping and running doing this thing and that but taking the time to just share space with your mate and listen not just with your ears but your heart to what they have to say or not say. Silence is sometimes the answer. I learned that that answer is not one I like though, In my mind and in my own opinion there is no question that has no answer. Again another blog.,

Vacation – necessary break from work and the ups and downs of daily life. It’s necessary to get away from those things but it’s also necessary to get away from the things that don’t allow us to spend the necessary time talking and more importantly listing to our spouse. This person that you have chosen to spend the rest of your life with should know the things that bother you, make you happy, make you sad, or whatever else. On the off chance of the opportunity to be on a game show there should be no reason to lose by not knowing the things that are important to the other person because you have in fact asked the questions and gotten the answers. There are always things to learn but at some point those things should be limited to whether or not they ever burned their tongue eating a sandwich or that the back of their hand itches every third Wednesday. Random shit. Things that matter should be discussed with no fear.

Vacations – necessary part of life. While you are at it make sure to take in some sights. There is plenty to see on various levels.

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