I see it now…

Revelation. That could be the entire blog right there. Seeing clearly what was there the entire time sometimes isn’t as cut and dry as we would like it to be and that is probably for the best. Seems we need to go through a series of events to get the full scope of the lesson that is being taught, oh, just me huh? That’s cool too.

Here is what I absolutely know this here day. The struggle was real and at the time of said struggle, it seemed relentless and insurmountable. The never answered question of why me? what did I do to deserve this? WHY ME LAWD????? Well, no matter the answer that we get, it still doesn’t seem right or that should by our fate, most of the time. However, there is a small portion of us that knew the situation we were in was our own doing. Agreeing to marry someone we KNEW FULL WELL we shouldn’t have. Participating in activities that we knew would not yield positive results or whatever scenario you find fitting. Yet, there are moments when you least expect them that these same, would be less than favorable situations provide an eye opening experience that you would have otherwise not seen. I didn’t say it was good, but it happened the way it needed to. During a conversation last night, I was hit with an Ahh Haa moment and then suddenly the peace that had been sought but not yet felt. The takeaway from the conversation was that I did what was necessary in order to grow. Things didn’t make sense when they happened and in that same scope if they had not happened I would still be where I was. It was time to let go of what was comfortable and status quo so that the life I was intended to live could be. Seems simple, but it was a bear to wrestle. Alas, bloodied, scared and exhausted…I arrive on the scene. I had been through the ringer, but STILL I RISE!!! I am currently listening to a book titled The Strength in our Scars that helped on the revelation. Just real subtle, here’s what happened, here’s what it could mean, and here’s what you need to do…basically learn the lesson from the thing that happened, the people that left you and the messes you created.

The next revelation leans towards selfish behavior. Mainly mine. Now let me preface this by saying I’m not a selfish person with my stuff per se but here lately my impatience has grown in one area of life and that’s not okay. I am a brat sometimes and so I want what I want, even if I pout a little or throw a little fit…that’s not ok. So again yesterday the revelation that I would have to be patient and WAIT for something I really want to come to fruition. UGHHHH, that sucks but it is what it is. For me, this practice in patience is something I have not mastered yet, but when it matters I know that it’s important to not rush things that take time to be right. Being selfish just because is not cool (I am scolding myself) and I have to apologize (telepathically hope he hears me) because no one wants to be nagged or browbeat right? RIGHT!! So I fall back and sit patiently. sigh.

Final revelation: we are all right where we are supposed to be. It may not feel like it in some cases, we may think we are late to the party. I have it on great authority that the party don’t start til you walk in!!! I was under the impression and rightly so that I had wasted a good 20 plus years in this last marriage and that if I had left sooner, this that and the third would have happened.

Yeah, so I NOW KNOW that is a whole lie. Despite the terribleness of it all, it was part of this journey that I’m on. I am now exactly where I am supposed to be. Equipped with the knowledge of what didn’t work, why it didn’t and the lesson learned from it all. I am NOW ready to march fourth into my future well prepared. Unafraid and able to use my voice. I am NOW ready to do what it takes to be a grown up not just play one on TV. I AM NOW ready to walk into that room like God sent me and able to stand on MY NAME. Freedom and peace are wonderful things when you recognize it and are able live in the truth of who you are completely and wholly.

As we close out 2022 I am working to continue on the Evolution of me, and these revelations are closing all the gaps, I am here for them all. What is being revealed to you? Don’t miss the message, it’s time.

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