Man listen. This blog is about to be on some real shit. I will be the first and can be the only one to openly and honestly admit that I have entertained obvious red flags before, I saw them, made the decision to ignore them and here I am – 20 plus years later, another marriage fail. So one would reasonably assume that any red flag going forward would be enough to run and run fast right…Hell NO!!!!!
I had my time to heal, to reflect, to woosah and all of that. Yet and still, them damn flags tried to take me out again.
Trying to navigate the dating scene post marriage is, well its tricky. I won’t bore you with all the juicy details but I will say this. Sigh, red flags do not change their color. The things you decide and discuss the importance of that then are blatantly disregarded equals red flag. Failure to follow through or communicate on the follow through OR lack thereof equals red flag. I don’t care what ANYBODY SAYS, you can’t be in, trying to be in or thinking about being in a ‘ship of any sort if you think it’s okay not to communicate or speak with that person for THREE (3) days. Ain’t nobody that damn busy. You are in the car, call; on the toilet, text; there are at a minimum at least ten to fifteen minutes in every hour that you have the ability to send a text or make a quick call. Sigh.
Red flags do not change their color – ever. They may manifest in different ways but best believe it is still the same damn red flag. Sigh. The worse part of red flags is almost ALWAYS you know what it is as soon as it waves its ugly little face. Fucker, again you find me. The even worse part for me is that my last marriage, if I had listened to the 99 red flags waving I wouldn’t have spent those last 20 plus years married to someone I should have never married.
Sigh, and here we are again, seeing the red flags this time hoping like hell it would clear up or just go away, knowing that it was a bad sign and that sadly this was not going to end well. This time however, the end, rather smooth and uneventful (one of us may be unaware that this is the end of the road) has come and all is well. It was one of those situations where you already knew it was coming, you braced for it and the impact wasn’t as bad as you thought because you found a loophole to avoid from being shattered. Lack of time in the thing, sure could be that, or it could be honest and hard conversation you had with yourself and it was agreed that it’s just time to walk away. No hard feelings, no ill will, just time to take your jacks and go home and play alone. Peace over Penis. Sigh.
So we move forward and roll smoothly toward whatever the next adventure might be. Smiling because of the knowledge gained at, this last turn and realizing yet again that peace is power and no one deserves to ruin your peace. Not that the intention on their part WAS to ruin anything but the red flag brigade was present in full force and ready to knock all your shit over (hard work on yourself, confidence, peace, sanity, you get the picture) and was not going to help you pick it up. Sigh. Moving forward I think I’m going to change my favorite color to….none. Just enjoy the colors as they come. Red while a great color ON me, does nothing for my countenance when it slaps me in the face (red flag) and once again, I have to ask myself why.
I’m glad I saw the signs early despite my hesitancy to admit it but alas….My Favorite Color SUCKS.